The 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, are coming to a close. While plenty of spotlight has been shone on stars the likes of Adam Rippon, Lindsey Vonn and Chloe Kim, there is still one thing left to be done with regard to media coverage. That’s right folks, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. It’s time for the definitive, indisputable, completely not in any way biased (or the work of one week-weary editor on a rainy Friday morning) roundup of the best and worst Olympic merchandise. Enough stalling. Let’s begin.
Best
Women’s Nike Blue Team USA Full-Zip Midlayer Jacket
This jacket is so cool it hurts. OK, maybe not the “hurts” part, but it is super sleek and looks like a great, lightweight option that doesn’t sacrifice warmth. Also, they were a hit on Fanatics’ online store, which saw a huge boost in sales after Shaun White and Chloe Kim wore them to their press conferences following gold medal victories in snowboarding.
Team USA Ceremony Suede Boot by Polo Ralph Lauren
OK, full disclosure. We here at Promo Marketing rarely feature branded shoes, the reason being that they are notoriously difficult to pull off and frankly not too common in the promo industry. However, these boots are too stylish to ignore. They practically ooze classic mountaineering steeze, making us wish we were off in the mountains instead of stuck in an office. Hurry up, weekend…
Team USA Ceremony Sweater by Polo Ralph Lauren
The only thing we regret about this sweater is that we didn’t see it until now when the winter’s nearly over. The pattern and colors are great, and the Team USA patch blends in perfectly. Should pair nicely with a mug of cocoa, a warm fire and an open schedule.
Team USA Scarf, Mitten & Beanie Gift Set
Truth be told, we thought about breaking up this trio, but the task proved too difficult. If you’re gonna buy the hat, you’ve gotta get the gloves and scarf to match, and vice-vice versa (OK, is there any way to say this for groups of three?).
Worst
Men’s Nike Navy U.S. Hockey 2018 Winter Olympics Replica Jersey
These jerseys are just flat-out bad. What’s with the sleeves? Are they supposed to look like feathers? Are they supposed to help the players look faster than they actually are (perhaps this has something to do with the NHL’s decision to keep its players away from the Olympics)? Regardless of reason, these digs are disastrous. Can we all start a petition to bring back the 1980 jerseys again?
Team USA Cotton Bandanna by Polo Ralph Lauren
So, apparently, this is a bandana, but we’re pretty sure this looks more like a handkerchief. Is there a difference? We’re not sure. Also, just throwing this one out there: would blowing one’s nose into this design make it look better, or worse?
Team USA Ceremony Slim Jean by Polo Ralph Lauren
Who wants to wear jeans with writing on the lower leg? Why would you ruin denim like that? We’re not even going to get into the stitching to be honest. There’s just too much wrong going on with these jeans to concisely address here.
Team USA Double-Knit Hoodie by Polo Ralph Lauren
Yikes.
Wildcard
Team USA Ceremony Suede Gloves by Polo Ralph Lauren
At first, we couldn’t stand these gloves worn at the opening ceremony. But then, we had a change of heart. Was it the 70s style? The way the tassels brought to mind a wild mustang’s mane, flowing in the open prairie wind? We’re not sure, but it felt something like freedom. Get these bad boys for the easy price of $995.
That sound you just heard was our collective jaws hitting the metaphorical floor. Maybe there’s some truth to the old adage “style doesn’t come cheap” after all.
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That’s all folks. We here at Promo Marketing sure hope you’ve enjoyed our definitive best and worst ranking of Team USA Olympic gear. Oh, and if you’ve made it to this point, dear reader, thank you so very much for indulging, or enduring, us to the very end. It’s Friday. You’re tired, we’re tired. Let’s make it a good weekend.
