Elon Musk. What else can we say about Elon Musk at this point even? The guy is a real-life Tony Stark, minus the weapons sales. (Although he did dabble in flamethrowers.) He’s a guy who has the means to pursue every single flight of fancy he chooses. Nothing is off the table. He embodies the line between genius and insanity. What starts as a joke becomes a tangible object in seemingly no time. The latest in the stream of “there’s no way he’ll actually make that” items? Promotional Tesla tequila.
(At this point, as your attorney and friend, I need to advise you not to bring Tesla tequila anywhere near a flamethrower, in case you’re going for a complete set of Musk’s items.)
Back in April, in a string of very on-brand tweets from Musk, he joked that he was found passed out on a Tesla, surrounded by what was then fictional “Teslaquila” bottles.
Elon was found passed out against a Tesla Model 3, surrounded by "Teslaquilla" bottles, the tracks of dried tears still visible on his cheeks.
This is not a forward-looking statement, because, obviously, what's the point?
Happy New Month! pic.twitter.com/YcouvFz6Y1
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 1, 2018
On Oct. 12, he tweeted “Teslaquila coming soon.” But, at this point, everything he promises should be taken with a Tesla-sized grain of salt. But wouldn’t you know, a little bit later, he followed up with a picture of the label.
Visual approximation pic.twitter.com/sMn3Pv476Y
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 12, 2018
Having your own brand of tequila isn’t a novel idea. Plenty of celebrities, like George Clooney and Sammy Hagar (who are arguably on the same level of fame and relevance in 2018) have their own lines.
Last week, Musk filed a patent application for Teslaquila in the “intent to use” category, according to The Manual. This means that, while it doesn’t have it in-hand right now, the company legitimately intends to sell it in the future.
So, between hats, flamethrowers, bricks (or whatever), crazy-expensive and possibly crappy surfboards, and now tequila, Musk is slapping his logo on just about anything. It begs the question: What is next? Is it even possible to guess?
The New Yorker tried (jokingly) to predict a few of Musk’s next big promotional ideas.
Our personal favorites were Elon Mask, a “mask infused with tea-tree oil, charcoal and a variety of serums from Grimes’ makeup bag”; and Musk, a cologne (launched out of a flamethrower-like device) that boasts top notes of “bergamot, leather, and the unlimited possibilities of A.I.” and base notes of “sandalwood, roasted pecan, the relentless pursuit of market dominance and jasmine.”
If we can manage to get our hands on Teslaquila, we will be back with a full report on the promotional fiesta.
