Mitch McConnell Is Selling Cocaine-Themed T-shirts

Who do you think is the least likely person to incorporate cocaine into their own personal brand image? If you answered Pope Francis, you’re probably right. But we’re talking about Sen. Mitch McConnell, who is a close second in terms of probably not being a drug kingpin.

But those who pay attention to politics might remember last year, when West Virginia Senatorial candidate Don Blankenship called McConnell “Cocaine Mitch,” referencing a 2014 incident where the drug was found on a cargo ship owned by McConnell’s wife. (His wife, Elaine Chao, also happens to be the current Secretary of Transportation.)

For McConnell’s 2020 re-election campaign, his team is releasing shirts with an outline of an amorphous being that serves as both McConnell/Pablo Escobar with a sprinkling of white powder behind him and the word “Mitch” in the front.

It’s subtle, and something people out of the loop might not get, but supporters were urged to buy the $35 T-shirt to “join the ‘Team Mitch Cartel.'”

Campaign staffers told the AP that the shirts were “flying off the shelves.”

“Senator McConnell proves every election cycle that having a sense of humor is the most valuable and least abundant commodity in politics,” McConnell campaign spokesman Josh Holmes told the AP. “He managed to turn a slanderous attack on his family into an online movement of his supporters.”

And, you know, props to the McConnell team for turning cocaine into lemonade. This could be the kind of thing that politicians turn into an awkward event and serious talking point for their opponents, but McConnell leaned into it and took the power away from the competition.

McConnell, who dubbed himself the “grim reaper” in the Senate when it comes to squashing what he believes to be “socialist schemes,” might have more in common with infamous drug lords-turned-Netflix heroes than we thought.

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