The Worst Part of Waking Up

If you’re a caffeine addict, there is nothing joyous about getting out of your cushy bed to cope with the first few minutes of the day prior to your first sip of coffee. What’s even worse is going into the office to find an empty pot of coffee, because the person before you didn’t take 14 seconds to start a fresh one.

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Starbucks Closed, Man

Millions of Americans are about to feel like the Griswalds in National Lampoon’s Family Vacation (Moose out front should have told you). Desperate for their next venti latte, they will (or, depending on when you read this, they have) approached the local java brewery only to find the doors locked and themselves coffee blocked. That’s right, Starbucks is having an unprecedented three-hour-universe-wide shut down in an attempt to re-energize the barista population (They do know they work all day with caffeine, right?). I can only imagine how the meeting will go. Hopped up managers extolling company pride, talking brightly about the

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