As I was growing up—and even to this day, I am very involved in athletics. As a high-schooler and through university, I participated in varsity track, basketball and baseball, and studied martial arts, achieving my black belt in tae kwon do and hapkido. I learned many valuable lessons that have been tenets for me to this day; lessons that I use and have passed on to both my children, Caitlin and Alex.
My daughter Cait, who now is finalizing grad school, was an amazing lacrosse player, and her brother Alex is too, playing varsity for a major university near Maryland. During their high school careers, they were amazing (still are) but things have changed. As they moved into the collegiate ranks, the competition gets stronger, harder, more intense and the idea and thought, I believe, crosses every athletes mind, “Should I just give up and just quit? Is it worth it?”
Both of my children have confided in me with this thought, and, in each case, I have shared what I consider a valuable life-lesson message. I told them that to be in the game they need to really be three things: be eligible, be coachable and be present. Let me explain what I mean.
There is a massive shift between being in high school and college and the stakes are much higher both on and off the field. In college, the biggest, brightest and best gather. There is, in many cases, unfair picking and choosing, favoritism, back-stabbing, undercutting and big egos—much like life. It stinks but it is what it is! So how does one survive? First off, understand that while, in many cases, you can’t dictate what happens, you can drive and steer your future in a positive direction, the key is to be aware and open. Sticking with it builds character and no one can take that from you.
Be Eligible. Being an amazing athlete or salesperson is great, but what do you do to advance? Things are not just given to you. You must earn it! I told my son, “Classes first, athletics second,” and that he does. You are no good at all to the team, no matter how groovy you think you are if you can’t play. If your grades stink, then you’re not eligible, therefore, you hurt the team. You must do everything you can to not only be the best you can be but continue to do the things that help you (and the team) be the best that they can be.
What have you done lately to up your game? What have you done to continue to educate yourself in order to help lift the team (even if your team is a team of one)? Being eligible equates to being reliable. Can your team, your clients and your family rely on you to do the things your need to do to be the best for them? Only you know.
Be Coachable. There are no natural-born athletes, just like there are no natural-born salespeople. Behind every successful person—be it athletics or business—is a mentor. Stop for a moment to think about those folks that influenced you during your life and that gave you life-lessons, guidance, encouragement, a slap in the head, a swift kick in the butt and pat on the back, a reward. For me:
- My amazing martial arts teacher, Grand Master Peter Cha, who told me to always remember the basics.
- My high school and college track coaches, Joe Harrison and John Wojhowitz, who taught me to never give in or give up; and that hard work always pays off in the end.
- My industry colleague coaches—Glen Holt, Martin Varley, Bob Hechler, Jeff Tobe, Joe Charbaneau, Marvin Spike and so many others—who helped me see that I have something amazing to share with others—and so do you!
Folks, the main thing about being coachable, no matter how good you are or think you are, is to be open to constructive criticism and have the willingness to make changes in order to become better. In short, be open to all possibilities. During my coaching sessions with others, I am determined to have them see that they are in so many ways much better than they give themselves credit. They have the ability and deserve to take their talents to help others and to make profits for themselves and their families.
Be Present. I remember back when my daughter started playing lacrosse she was a walk on in high school and many of the girls she was playing with had many, many years of experience. One day she came to me and said, “Dad, the coach isn’t playing me. I’m just thinking of quitting.”
I thought for a moment and said, “Cait, during the games, are you present?”
“What does that mean,” she recounted.
“I mean, during the games, when you’re not playing, you’re ‘sitting’ on the bench, not involved, not engaged, not participating. I suggest that during the next game and throughout the rest of your lacrosse career, you stand on the sidelines, cheer for your team, encourage them, but you do it two steps to the side and one step back from the coach. He moves, you move. When he turns to look for someone to go in there, you’ll be there and he will have heard and seen you. You will have been present.”
In ensuing games, Cait’s playing time increased dramatically, and after a couple games, she was a starting defenseman and played the balance of her four years in high school and then into college as a starter on the varsity squad.
When at your office, whether you own your own business or work for someone, are you present? When you answer the phone, when you’re in a meeting are you prepared, focused and present “in the game”? When your people see that and when your people notice that as well, it’s that fact that shouts the loudest.
My friends, you are amazing! I encourage you to reflect on these words and to pay heed. Do your utmost to be eligible to be a part of the process, be coachable to learn, change, create, find a solid coach or mentor that can help you navigate the waters. Lastly, always be in the moment and be present, solidly focusing on the task at hand. Doing these things will greatly enrich you both personally and professionally.
As always, continued good selling!
